It takes two to tango, two to get engaged and TWO to plan a wedding. But sometimes you can feel like the only one doing all the planning. It’s okay! It happens. But there’s plenty of ways to bring your fiancé into the planning, even getting them to do some of the heavy lifting. The fun of wedding planning can be that it’s a great opportunity to create something together. Whether you’re having trouble letting go of control of even the smallest details, or you’ve got a hands-off partner you want to bring into the wedding planning fold, we’ve got some ideas for making this an equal endeavor.
Include Them in Many Parts of the Planning Process
Usually there’s one person in a couple that grabs the reigns and takes off with planning the wedding details (sound familiar?). When your wedding planning starts, sit down with your partner and discuss what parts of the wedding they want to be most involved in. If they seem hesitant to decide on their own, put them in charge of one major facet of the planning (particularly one you know they’ll be good at!). This could be catering, clothing or even wedding party gifts.
This allows them to feel more included and it can help reduce the stress of planning a wedding solo. Grooms are often given a pass for not being involved in the wedding because it hasn’t been traditionally expected of them. This is the time to change all of that.
Letting your fiancé handle your Guestie account is the perfect way for them to get to know ALL of your people. They’ll have no trouble remembering all of those guests’ names and connections to you, even your third cousin, twice removed. With photos and name pronunciation included in the Guest Gallery, they’ll get the inside scoop on everyone that’s coming to the wedding. Here’s to your partner becoming your wedding guest expert.
Write Letters to Each Other to Read Before the Ceremony
Asking your partner to be more involved is a great way to get them more invested in the wedding itself, but making them feel special is another thing you should be mindful of. For instance, there can be so much validation and praise for the bride on her wedding day, but grooms are often left out of this. This is his special day as well and the wedding day should be a day that is about unity, not just the one person.
Exchanging letters is quite popular for being a quiet moment of reflection on such a busy day. It also just happens to make for great photos and video footage. Tell your partner all of the things that make you love them and make them special. It is something that will uplift them and make them feel just as treasured as you do. It is also a great keepsake!
Include a Special Cake Just for Them
A groom’s cake is an old wedding tradition that was popularized in Europe and in the U.S. South. This tradition started in the early 1800s because a traditional wedding cake was considered too ‘feminine’ for the groom. While the reasoning behind it is more than a little outdated, a groom’s cake can be a fun way to include the groom.
If you want to be traditional, a groom’s cake is usually a liquor soaked fruit cake that is served at the rehearsal dinner or beside the wedding cake. Let the groom run with this! A cake for your fiance could be any flavor or size and can be decorated to their specifications. This is the perfect way to include something they are passionate about into the wedding.
Don’t Forget Your First Gifts as a Married Couple
There is no better way to let someone know you care than by giving them a personal gift. Consider doing a gift swap after the ceremony. This could be a great time to have a private moment before the wedding reception. The gift could be anything! It could be something sentimental like special cuff links or it could be a bit spicier if that’s your preference (or why not both?).
At the end of the day, you know what your partner treasures most. This is a good opportunity to let them know that you really value and understand them. It will hopefully be a moment that they remember forever.
Make the Groomsmen Feel Valued
Bridesmaids gifts are a no-brainer, and over time bridesmaids gifts have gotten even more extravagant! Groomsmen gifts, on the other hand, have stayed pretty basic. Groomsmen also aren’t usually as involved in the ceremony and planning. It’s time to change that!
Setting aside a day for suit fittings and lunch is a great way to get groomsmen together before the ceremony. It will allow them to bond and really appreciate what they will experience together. Having a day of pampering isn’t a bad idea, either. Schedule a spa day for the groomsmen the day before the wedding. It will be a fantastic treat and it’s something they might not do for themselves. That doesn’t mean they won’t appreciate it though!
Pre-Reception One-on-One Time
A wedding reception can be very chaotic. People will want to wish you and your partner well and give you all the advice they have collected over the years. It can quickly turn into a whirlwind that you can lose your partner in. All of these greetings can become a bit overwhelming. After all, you just had a whole ceremony about how you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together!
In order to ensure that your wedding day doesn’t become a blur of pleasantries, talk to your planner about carving out a private time to spend together. This could be during down time when everyone else will be dancing or you could have a private pre-reception appetizer sampling. You and your partner will be able to appreciate each other in a much quieter environment. This is your chance to revel in one of your first moments as newlyweds!
P.S. Want to focus less on guest introductions on your big day and more on celebrating? Of course you do! So sign up for Guestie and let all of the ice breaking happen before you big day. More time to party and less time spent making introductions, that’s the recipe for an amazing, memorable, connected wedding day.