This isn’t going to be the standard wedding vendor interview article. Those cover things like contracts, insurance, refund policies, etc. Which are of course, super important! You definitely don’t want to overlook those specifics. But there’s a deeper level you want to get with some of your vendors, particularly those like your wedding planner and photographer. Your working relationship with your vendors is more than just a business arrangement, it’s an intimate bond filled with trust and communication.

You and your wedding vendors together are bringing your wedding vision to life. So in addition to their capabilities, it’s also about how you, as a couple, mesh on a personal level with your vendors. Of course, not all vendors will be so intimately important to collaborate with. You won’t need to gel completely with vendors like your wedding transportation service, your florist or your attire boutiques for instance. Those vendors are providing a specific, concrete service or item. Although you’ll want to make sure you enjoy working with each as well! So in that way, these questions might relate to just about any of your vendors.

So, what are these all important questions? Let’s dive in.

1. Ask Your Wedding Vendors Why They Chose the Wedding Industry

The why is where you will find someone’s passion for what they do. We know, this is your big day, why be interested in someone else’s career, right? But this question will give you a clue into how invested and engaged a vendor is in what they do. Will they make sure every detail is taken care of perfectly or will they phone it in? This question can help you understand where their interest lies. Feel a little nervous about asking such a deep and probing question? Don’t sweat it. It can come up naturally in your first conversation, particularly with vendors who give you plenty of time for a get-to-know-you discussion.

2. What was a memorable wedding you recently were a part of?

Listen to their answer. How engaged are they in talking about the couple they worked with? Do they get emotional or do they seem distanced and detached? It’s ideal to find vendors who love what they do and become passionate supporters of their clients. For instance, you may want to choose a DJ or wedding band whose eyes light up when they speak about a recent performance.

3. How do you feel about working with a couple, brainstorming and getting creative together?

Think of professionals like your wedding planner, videographer and photographer. You want to be able to share your wildest visions and dreams with them and for them to be there ready to eagerly take it all in. That means always a positive, encouraging attitude. It doesn’t mean they’ll be able to pull off your most extra ideas. But, they can listen and together help you find a way to make your dreams become reality. Building this level of trust during the planning process with your vendors also allows you to let go of the reins when your wedding day arrives. That allows them to shine at what they do best, delivering for you on your big day. Hint: help them do that by resisting the urge to micromanage your vendors. Choose your vendors wisely so you can trust them to do what you’ve hired them to do. And you can do your thing – enjoy every moment of your wedding day without any worry or stress.

4. Learn About Your Potential Wedding Vendors’ Styles

It’s easy to assume that every wedding pro can pull off every style, but that’s typically the exception to the rule. Every pro has specialties. It’s best to lean into those special talents rather than try to force someone to be something they are not. This is particularly true with photographers and videographers. Each will have specific areas of focus, whether it’s documentary style, portraiture or a fun candid style. Choose your preferred style first and then find a professional that fits into that groove rather than the reverse approach.

This last questions is for you, as a couple:

How do you feel when you communicate with this vendor?

Although there are times in life when you have to suck it up and push on working with someone you’d otherwise prefer not to have anything to do with, your wedding should absolutely not be one of those times. Are your interactions pleasant? Do you feel valued? Listened to? These are non-negotiables. If you aren’t feeling those happy, satisfied vibes, it may be your gut telling you something is off.

Your wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event and you’ll always treasure the memories you make. Your wedding professionals are there to help make your day its most special. Ideally they will become part of the memories and relationships that you treasure for years to come.